Funny how quickly things change. It was only a couple of months ago that the whole country seemed to be saying, We love erotica! Erotica? Us? We love it! Give us more! Give us more! - But now it seems that no one wants anything to do with it. Not, at least, when it comes to Fifty Shades of Grey.
Two years ago E L James’ book was released and went on to sell 5.3 million copies that’s more than any UK paperback like, ever. And now nobody wants to read the thing.
Our job is to sell books and right now we’re stuck with a mountain of Fifty Shades of Grey, have been for months. We can’t sell them, nobody can. So what to do? We can recycle them, right? Wrong. This is because when they were choosing the glue to bind the books they decided to use one that can’t be recycled. Genius.
So we’ve still got our mountain. A lot of time has been spent watching it, sitting and staring at it in the hope that inspiration might finally strike, that we might be granted a solution to this grand conundrum. But alas, so far we’ve only come up with one realistic option – wait until the film of Fifty Shades of Grey is released. To this end we have put a timer on the wall which tells us just how many months, days, hours, minutes and seconds we have left to wait. Then, when the time comes, we will fill up shopping trolleys with as many of those books as they can carry and we will take to the streets – head for any part of town where there’s a cinema, any part of town where there are people, and we will parade up and down hollering, Fifty Shades of Grey! Seen the film? About to see the film? Well now you can buy the book for just 50p!… 20p!… Okay, call it 10p…. Alright, alright, anything that’s copper coloured, round and vaguely resembles money… I’ll even sign it for you.
Boy do we hope that plan works, because we don’t want be stuck with these things forever. Every time we see them we swear there are books there laughing at us, like they think we’ll never get rid of them. Well guess what, books? We might have way too many of you but we’ve still got plenty of room for others. Yes, dear people, we still want your books! Sell books to us! In fact sell us books, DVDs, CDs, video games! Just type in the ISBN numbers on the homepage of the We Buy Books website, find out how much they’re worth, print a postage label, post them to us for free and within three days of receiving the items we’ll send you your money. Simple. Everyone’s happy. Just please, whatever you do, no more Fifty Shades of Grey.